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Forgive me readers for I have sinned. It  has been 7 days since my last blog post. In those nights Freya has slept for 12 hours six nights!! I am guilty of the most grievous deadly sins of sloth. Yes, I have gone to bed many nights at half nine just to reap the full benefits of sleep. I am further guilty of wrath. The bin men with lights and sirens at six in the morning have been victims of my  internal ravings. I have felt envy at all the sleeping homes on the morning/middle of the night that Freya woke early at 5:15am convinced it was time for socialising and eating.   On this day  I felt travel sick for the entire day but powered through with a gluttonous amount of chocolate cupcake decorations eaten, in hiding, in the utility. But of all my sins the one I am least repentant for is pride. After last weeks depressing failures in controlled crying we can now say that she can definitely settle herself and soothe herself back to sleep. She wakes and chats herself to sleep. She rubs the blanket against her cheek as a comfort and despite the fact that every inch of me knows this won’t last I couldn’t care less because this week I slept well, this week our daughter is settled. For this I’m rolling around in the pride and slathering it on. She did it! We survived!  Nobody killed any body! She is, for however fleeting a time, sleeping through the night!

Now I will say a few Hail Mary’s and erase it all from my memory. That horrific first night- gone. Freya’s crying, screams and pleas- gone. My guilt, tears and frustration- gone.

My selective memory will hone a new version of events. In a few years I will say things like ” Freya was always a good sleeper, just like her brother” and ” She never gave us a moments bother” “. In truth crying-it-out took a full week to have any effect and I am definitely not feeling as smug about her sleeping as I thought I might be.  Are we set for a life time of sleep? God no. Our day still starts on average at 6:30am followed closely by her brother in full action mode at 7:00 am but as Steve says ” At least we know she can do it”.  I’m pretty sure tonight we will have a shocking night because the golden rule of having a baby who sleeps through the night is that you never, ever,  say they are sleeping through the night. Let alone publish it on the internet. So in true Catholic form let us never, ever, speak of this again, Amen.

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