Posted on 13 May, 2014
I’ve read about the joys of getting lost, losing yourself, forgetting the maps and just wandering. Whoever wrote that didn’t have an almost 12 kg baby strapped to them in the rain!
This is how it started, a blurry selfie resting on the post of a gate.
Then off we went for a short adventure.
A friend had recommended this walk. I was lamenting the fact that only 10 of the 100 bluebells we planted in the garden actually flowered and he suggested this walk in Middleton for me to get my bluebell fix.
He was right the bluebells carpet the floor and it’s stunning.
We came to a few paths that were too slippy or too steep to attempt with a wee man stuck to my front so I diverted my path a little. After nearly sinking a few times I conceded that I was in the wrong shoes for this caper and we should go home.
Hmmm, now where is that gate? I walked up,down, around and around. Ewan was due a sleep and the more we walked the louder his protests got until he was in full blown crying mode. It starts to rain. I take off my cardigan and try and cover Ewan. I’m sweating so it’s no great act of chivalry. Crying, he kicks and flails to get the cardigan off him. His legs kick into my thighs and I think where the hell is this gate.
When I’ve been lost before I’ve ended up passing the same spot numerous times, here everything looked the same. I had no idea if I had just gone in a circle or if these were new trees and new bluebells. I couldn’t find any landmarks. There were no people around or else they gave the screaming baby a wide berth and went the other way.
I suppose walking in the rain early in the morning isn’t for everyone!
So on I waddled, Ewan still crying, me losing all sense of reason and thinking that a tree will fall on us and we’ll be lost forever. All I had told Steve was that we were going to look for bluebells, a cute description but not a lot for the Gardai to go on.
I thought about ringing Steve but then thought what could he actually do, I didn’t even know the name of the woods and my Nokia 3100c doesn’t exactly have GPS.
About 40 minutes passed. My face was the colour of a bright tomato and I was still sweating, Ewan had snot smeared across his face from the crying, and I was starting to panic. I thought if I see one more bluebell I will actually scream!
Eventually, I came across a path that ran by the river. This must be the edge I thought and the gate must be by the edge. I was debating whether to turn left or right when I came across a couple walking their dog. I was so excited and relieved to see other people I started to waddle towards them with a crying Ewan swinging in front of me. They gave me a sympathetic but nervous smile and directions for the quickest way to the elusive gate. They jogged on and stopped every now and again turning back signaling what way to go.
At one point I started jogging after them, this must have been quiet the sight! “Excuse me, excuse me. I forgot to ask, Is it far?” ” Only about 5 or 8 minutes walk” .
After a total of an hour and a half walking this was the best news ever! My shoulders ached, Ewan must have had various leg cramps from being dangled in front of me for so long and I was done with nature.
I was dying to go to the bathroom and considered peeing by the car before we left. Luckily, I noticed a sign saying CCTV In Operation.
The last thing I needed was to end up on you tube as the crazed,sweating lady peeing in the woods so I decided to just get in the car and go home.
I’ve learnt many things after our “adventure”, always pee before you leave home, baby-wearing sucks, bluebells are pretty but I’ve had my fill and last but not least getting lost is definitely over rated.