This is a tricky old post to write.

Let me start by saying I love blogging. I love taking time to photograph something pretty, a vintage find or a moment out and about with Ewan. I love writing up a piece, especially the longer ones that I let linger in the drafts pile before re-visiting and tweaking. I love publishing the post and checking back to see if there are any comments.As I rule I get very excited when people leave comments!

I spend a lot of time in a land of blogs where people share their every move. Everything is fair game. Where they went on a dates with their husbands, what they wore, what they ate, what the children did with the babysitter, their kids fevers and troubles at school, nappy training problems, when they last had sex, what it was like, EVERYTHING is shared. I love all that stuff, it’s addictive and enthralling. It also means that, in my mind, my blog isn’t overly personal at all when you compare it to others.

But my opinion isn’t the only one that matters. I’m not on my own. I’m part of this family. I have parents who prefer their photos not to be on the blog, I have friends who would prefer not to be on the blog, I have friends who never want their children to be on the blog. Steve, my partner in everything,  wants there to be minimal content about him on the blog. I understand where all of these people are coming from and I can understand their need to keep their lives private.

Steve  works in IT and his version of what should be kept private is very different from mine. We’ve had talks about whether things we do as a family are fodder for the blog or are they activities just for us. We’ve talked a lot about when are our private moments no longer private ? Do the moments start to belong less to us when they are shared? What will Ewan think of this when he’s older?

If I’m honest it would be much easier not to think of these questions but I’m old enough and wise enough to be glad that I have Steve asking these questions of me and me asking them of myself.

I don’t write in a journal or diary because I like the public nature of the blog. I enjoy getting feedback, I like meeting people who say “I read the one you did about…” and off our conversation starts from there. I like the feeling that I’m putting together a body of work that I feel proud of and I will keep on doing it.

But I want to do it with a bit of integrity. I don’t want to use photos of Ewan as a lazy way to do a blog post. I have done that on more than one occasion and I generally do it because I’m tired or it has been an uneventful week. In my eyes he is pretty darn cute and posting some photos of him has been a nice and easy blog post for me to do. But I don’t want that to be my default blog post and I don’t want to end up having an online photo documentary of his life because I haven’t done much myself.

If I post photos of him then I want it to have something to do with the blog post as a whole. I never want to feel like I have nothing to say for myself “So here, look at my lovely child” (and let’s face it, he is a cutie). Saying all of this doesn’t mean that Ewan won’t be on the blog. Ewan and I spend 12 hours a day together to leave him out would seem weird to me  but I am giving thought to how and when he is on the blog.

I never want to feel like I use my family to fill space on the blog so I’m taking things slowly and thinking. Overall, I trust my judgement but it’s bloody tough though! I wish someone had a manual called “How to blog respectfully” or something similar.  But the reality is there is no one size fits all. It’s about what you and the people who make up your family are happy with and after over a year of blogging  I still don’t feel like I have it nailed yet. So I’m slowing down.

Right now,I can’t see an obvious answer but I feel like I can’t go too far wrong trusting my gut and with Steve by my side. He would never seek to edit the blog but he does give me his honest opinion when I ask for it. So I guess we need to keep talking, I need to keep asking and when he’s not comfortable he needs to say. (In case your wondering I’ve talked with him about this post).

So if I’m not here that often that is why.I’m not rushing to post photos to fill space. I’m starting the year off by slowing down and I hope that you’ll bear with me and that what I do post keeps being something that I can be proud of and that you’ll want to read and see.  So when you don’t hear from me as often please remember I’m still be here and don’t forget to drop by to say hi.